The Breaking of the Super Trio
*Sean sits in the SNAP homeroom, late at night. He looks exhausted and slightly drunk. This is of course explained in the season 2 finale where he got married for the ninth time and then was left alone at a lock in, after his wife had multiple affairs. Josh had gotten kidnapped in the last episode as well. Kyla had gotten worried, but Josh apparently killed his kidnappers. Josh also married Nate and the two became pimps.*
Sean: *Starts talking to seemingly no one* Alright, I know this is a bit dorky and I usually don’t like openly saying that we should role play, or even like calling it roll play, but we should have a serious story line. Like without the goofiness, and with defined rules, and a plot line. Something we could make into a story into the future or something. Right guys? *Looks around at no one*
Josh: *Suddenly materializes* Mm.
Sean: *Feels judged* Leave me alone, I’m exhausted. So?
Josh: Um, what?
Sean: *Drunkenly frustrated* Ugh. Do you guys want to do a serious role play story? Like the funny ones we already do, except not.
Josh: No, I mean, why’d u say ‘Leave me alone I’m exhausted’?
Sean: I sound dorky and ridiculous.
Josh: *Ignores Sean’s last statement* What genre would it be?
Sean: We’d have to decide.
Josh: Suggestions anybody?
Sean: Fantasy. War. Sci-fi. 70s disco drama.
Josh: *Begins listing like he’s already planned this* Medieval Fantasy. Sci-Fi Western. Superhero. Crime/murder. Western Sci-Fi. Post apocalyptic. Military (modern/WW2/Civil war/etc). Anyone feel free to put more suggestions.
Kyla: *Suddenly appears* Spanish soap opera.
Sean: I’d be the butler.
Josh: Kyla, what the even heck? You never disappoint me.
Sean: Alright, what are your three favorite ones Josh?
Josh: First five. *Laughs out loud*
Sean: Alright, Kyla?
Kyla: Yes. What?
Sean: Top three favorite genres to do?
Sean: *Begins talking, disregarding his past question, and clearly ranting* I’m feeling fantasy, war, or post apocalypse personally. Actually, I feel like a war story would be too intense and dramatic. A western would probably become a comedy too quickly. But honestly, I don’t give two ques and a shirley.
Josh: Whatever that means. I think I’m gonna make a meaning for that.
Sean: Sci-fi replaces war for me.
Josh: We could do a medieval fantasy war.
Sean: Like lord of the rings.
Sean: We could do a fantasy scifi war like star wars. I’m liking that. Fantasy Scifi. *Seems pleased with his ‘brilliant’ idea.
Josh: Let’s give it some time to see what everyone will vote for.
Sean: *Still ranting* That leaves it open for a lot of creation and world building. *Realizes what Josh said* Okay. Also, relating to said role playing story, those interested in doing it could make their own convo, as not to annoy those who wish to not be involved. Then, every week, I’d send a version of the story to the SNAP convo, so you could glimpse our work. And it could be a weekly serial thing. And what not.
Challen: *Suddenly appears* I’m with Kyla. Spanish soap opera
Sean: *Annoyed* Nevermind…
*A never before heard theme song starts as the characters are seen doing weird crap as the credits come on*
This is the theme song now!
This is the credit song!
We got paid a lot,
even though it’s not that long!
We’ve never used a theme song before,
and probably won’t again,
but because it seemed fitting,
they hired a bunch of men!
This is the theme song now!
Played after the beginning scene!
now we’ll finish up the theme song now,
as the title rolls across the screen!
*Nate walks into a room with Sean and Kyla sitting on a couch watching a tv show*
Nate: New star wars movie was amazing, but the ending sucked. Every episode has resolution, NOPE NOT 7!
Sean: *Looks angriky at Nate* Shut up Nate! Not everyone saw it.
Nate: Well it still sucks…
Kyla: Thanks, Nate. I love hearing things about movies I haven’t seen yet.
Nate: No problem, any time Kyla. Oh kyla, you’d love what I told my sis this morning. She is now taking general science this semester…..and…..I told her something like, “Hey, now that you’re taking general science, you just need someone hitting you every 10 minutes.” *Laughs* She didn’t get it sadly. *After some silence* General science, good times…
Kyla: Well, it does add to the learning experience.
Sean: Well, as the girl, she should be hitting someone else every ten seconds.
Kyla: *cough* sexist *cough*
Nate: I really did learn a lot. Well about getting hit. I don’t know what I said in 7th grade, but it was apparently really stupid. Maybe I was competition for the highest score. I don’t know. I remember a few crude jokes
Kyla: Probably the most common reason.
Nate: Yeah. I definitely deserved it though. *Josh walks into the room* Josh, none of my crude humor from 7th grade will be said.
Josh: I think I pushed most of my memories from 7th and 8th grade outta my head.
Nate: Yeah… just you. One of my best comments was when I say something stupid, got smacked/punched/slapped/whatever, and then I lean over to Josh and say, “told ya she was hitting on me”, then get smacked again. You must remember that Josh.
Sean: *Sarcastically, still watching the tv show* Oh, Nate. Such a wise guy. Such a clever one. So clever and snarky. Oh, you.
Josh: Most of the situations where we giggled like a couple schoolgirls, I try not to remember
Josh: And that sounds like a situation like that.
Sean: *Suddenly gets really dramatic, and stares off into the distance* Sadly I remember my middle school years.
Josh: Of 2013?
Sean: *Looks like he’s having a PTSD episode* My middle school years in general.
Josh: Mm *pats back sympathetically*
*In a new scene, it’s snowing outside and Kyla calls Josh, Sean, and Santannah*
Kyla: Is it snowing where y’all are?
Sean: No. *It is snowing outside*
Josh: Kyla, I have a lollipop. How did you know?
Kyla: I’m psychic.
Sean: Wait, nevermind. It is. I didn’t really check when you asked.
Santannah: GUYS! ITS! SNOWING!
Sean: A little slow, aren’t you Santannah?
Santannah: What? Oh, I’m not paying attention to you guys.
Santannah: Leave me alone.
*Sean is reading on a couch with Josh working on something at a table*
Josh: Yo Sean.
Sean: Watchu want?
Josh: What’s your favourite villain?
Sean: Of all time?
Josh: Yes, show me a picture of them.
Sean: Give me a little while to think about that. It’s hard.
Josh: Ok then keep it in marvel/DC, so it’s not that hard.
Sean: Alright. If we’re only talking DC and Marvel, here are my favorites. *Shows photos of Scarecrow and Magneto* I’ll think about my favorites of all time.
Josh: Out of dc or marvel mine is *shows dramatic picture of Deathstroke*
Sean: He’s pretty awesome. I like Joker a lot, but thats everyone’s favorite so… Why’d you want to know?
Josh: You’ll know soon enough *laughs evilly*
Nate: *Nate walks in with a Wonder Woman shirt on* Can’t guess mine. *Laughs ‘mysteriously’.*
Sean: I went on a date with Wonder Woman once. It was ‘wonder’ful.
Josh: Wonder Woman is not a villain.
Kyla: *Peering through window* That’s what I was thinking.
Sean: Tell that to the guy who had to pay for her dinner.
Josh: Talking about villains and superheroes reminds me of the beginning of snap in 2013.
Sean: You and your deadpool crush.
Josh: Dead pool isn’t a hero or a villain He’s just… Deadpool.
Sean: Imagine swimming in a deadpool.
Josh: A Deadpool is where zombies go swimming. Racist.
Sean: There’s a reason why we’re separate. #zombiesegregation #separatebutequal
Josh: Someone want to see a picture of Kira? *Shows a picture of a baby turtle swimming*
Sean: Kira doesn’t appreciate the comparison.
Josh: Comparison? That’s a picture of Kira.
*In the next scene, Santannah walks into the room Sean and Kyla were watching TV in earlier, cracking up. Kyla, Josh, and Sean are all on their phones.*
Santannah: *Laughing* When your friends steal speed limit signs….
Kyla: What a buggabear
Santannah: *Shakes her head, laughing*
Sean: Wow, what good influences.
Santannah: They’re so stupid. *Still laughing*
Sean: *sarcastically* Oh them…those Vandals..Well, I have to go destroy some public property and laugh about it…*Leaves*
*Josh shows everyone on his phone a picture of him looking up “how to” and the suggestions being “how to tie a tie”, “how to meditate”, and “how to boil an egg”.*
Santannah: All you need to know in life.
Josh: Why would someone google how to boil an egg?
Kyla: *Looks around nervously* I’ve totally never done that.
Josh: I mean, I’ve learned how to tie a tie dozens of times, but always forget. And meditation makes you feel high. But… Eggs?
Santannah: JOSH, YOUR FACEBOOK PROFILE PICTURE IS BLURRY!
Kyla: How does meditation make you high?
Santannah: YOU NEED TO MAKE IT CLEARER
Josh: My star wars ticket profile pic?
Josh: Ok. Stop screaming at me.
Kyla: He’s delicate. *Covers Josh’s sensitive ears*
Santannah: I’m sorry.
Kyla: You can’t yell.
Josh: Now sit down and behave yourself, young woman.
Santannah: Uh excuse you, I am a puppy. Still learning. *Z snap*
Kyla: The levels of sass right now. Goodness.
*Nate is sitting at a bus stop, waiting. Cyrus, wearing a wig and a weird outfit, trying to look like Kyla, shows up*
‘Kyla’: Look how hot my boyfriend is. #accedentalselfie lol *Shows super posed picture of David/Cyrus taking a selfie*
Nate: Really looks accidental… not.
‘Kyla’: It so was, I swear.
Nate: Said the liar… just kiddin! *Says just kiddin as if talking to Kyla and worried about being hit*
*Next scene, Josh is seen lying in bed, clearly sick. Kyla is sitting next to him, making sure he’s okay. Nate walks in.*
Josh: Hello hubby.
Nate: Josh, you goin to the homeschool conference?
Kyla: *Hurt that Josh completely is ignoring her* Josh. Leave me alone. Kisses, bye. *Leaves*
Josh: Heck yea. KYLA! WHATD I DOOO!?!?
Nate: No clue. *After an awkward silence* Well I mean pink zebras are cool.
Josh: *Clearly feverish* That’s what I’ve been saying.
Nate: So Sean, what exists again? *Sean’s not there*
Josh: Flying pigs. That’s a big one
Nate: Mm. I agree
Josh: What if you raised a wild boar from birth. Would it let you ride on its back when it’s fully grown? That sounds pretty freakin awesome.
Nate: I’d wanna be black tho.
Josh: Well you are black.
Nate: Lady. I’d wanna be a black guy. They’d call me The Hogrider.
Josh: See? Your arm is black. *Pinches some of Nate’s Arm*
Nate: Black? No, its brown. You’re color blind.
Josh: Your see well no colors.
Nate: I’m no well I seeing black fo brown. *Runs out of the room*
*Kyla and Sean are reading a review for the movie Pup to Josh who is still sick in bed later that night.*
Kyla: Great movie. 10/10. Would recommend to every age group. Protagonist very relatable. Storyline enthralling. Strong characters. Humor out of this world.
Sean: Up to his old tricks….oh that Yuri! The romance was cliché defying, boundary pushing, love-always-prevails at its best.
*Sean and Kyla bow and leave the room*
Josh: Guys. *Josh weakly calls out to them*
Sean: *Pokes head back in* Yea?
Josh: Oh. It’s you.
Sean: *Feelings hurt* Oh, okay. I’ll just leave then
Josh: Qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.
*Cyrus walks into a room where Josh and Kyla are on their phones. Josh seems to be better*
Cyrus: Hey guys.
*Kyla blows him a kiss*
Cyrus: How’s it going?
Cyrus: Sweet. Well that was an interesting conversation. Again? Hey guys.
Josh: *Reluctantly* Hey, ‘Cyrus’. *Does finger quotations*
David: No need for air quotes.
*Later, Josh and Sean are looking at a painting that Kinsley drew of Sean*
Josh: Are those earrings in your ears?
Sean: Whoah. Those are earrings. I must ask. *Sean texts Kinsley about the alleged earrings* She said she was making someone else and then switched. I now feel obliged to get earrings.
Josh: You should. Then it would be a Fernando’s thing
Sean: No. *Sarcastically* Next I’ll dye my hair or some crap like that.
Josh: Well I dyed my hair first, so I think you’re good.
Sean: Josh, Santannah, Kyla, Lexis, Danielle, Sami. The list goes on.
Sean: Yeah, she dyed her hair red. Remember?
Josh: Oooooohhhh yeaaah, But what I meant was I dyed my hair before I pierced ma ears, so I don’t think vice-versa would work.
Sean: Josh, I was not serious. Go poop.
Josh: Sean. Pierce your ears or I will do it forcibly.
Kyla: *suddenly appears* Ewwww. Noooo.
Josh: Who has a needle?! *attempting to grab Sean*
Sean: *high pitched voice* NUUUUUUUUUU
Kyla: That’d be so weird.
Santannah: *Suddenly appears* Josh shut up. Noooo, thats weird.
Josh: Or fish hooks with Beatles attached to them?
Sean: *While being chased by Josh* NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Josh: Or like, you know? Anyone have a syringe I can borrow?
*Sean escapes Josh and hangs out with Kinsley in her art studio*
Sean: Josh said I should get my ears pierced.
Kinsley: Well, he is wrong. So if you could see Josh dressed up as anything, what would it be?
Sean: He usually is. Oh Gosh, that’s hard. So many things…give me a second.
Kinsley: You can list a few things
Sean: David Bowie in Labyrinth, Jennifer Connolly in Labyrinth, Jesus, an angel, a turkey, a jewish rabbi. A princess, willy wpnka, an old man, a priest. Those are just the things off the top of my head. Oh, and SHARKBOY. And Dancing Queen.
*Kinsley draws all of these, which Sean promptly shows to Josh back at the house.*
Sean: Just thought I’d give you some suggestions for halloween Josh.
Josh: 1. I feel I would be disrespecting David Bowie 2. Not trans 3. I don’t want people to eat me or drink my blood 4. Scared of heights 5. Already am one 6. I don’t want to be a rabbi 7. Again. Not trans 8. Don’t own a chocolate factory so that would be a disappointing costume 9. Not old 10. Not pedo Oh Sharkboy! I could be Sharkboy!
Josh: And why would I be something I already am *whispers* dancing queen.
*A few days later, Sean enters the house sullen and depressed*
Sean: Everyone. I have some horrible news…
Kyla: *After Sean doesn’t say anything* Well?
Sean: So, Lexis is the devil.
Sean: Lexis. Is. The. Devil. Satan. Lucifer. The dark one.
Sean: The great manipulator. Yeah.
Josh: Did she tell you this?
Santannah: Proof. Now.
Josh: *Sean stares blankly off into the distance.* Seeeaaaaannn, Ok fine. Goodbye.
Sean: She told me over the phone the first time. It makes sense if you think about it.
Lexis: *From outside* Are you seriously telling everyone. Ugh, I hate you guys.
Sean: Hate. Sign of the devil.
Josh: Her adorability is her disguise.
Sean: Yeah, noone is actually that cute. Devil much?
Cyrus: I am. I’m the cutest.
Sean: Mm. You obviously don’t remember what Lexis looks like. Or sounds like. Or acts like.
*Sean, Cyrus, and Josh sit inside of a skyline apartment. Kyla walks in, trying to figure something out on her phone.*
Kyla: Sean. Where did you hear this thing about buggabears?
Kyla: About how it means troublesome teenagers? Where did you get this information?
Sean: I don’t Remember.
Kyla: Because I cannot find anything about that on the internet. Have you been feeding me false information?
Sean: No? I’m pretty sure I read them.
Cyrus: Yeah, me too.
Josh: “Pretty sure”. Sounds like something a false information feeder would say. Tis tis.
*Kyla leaves, still confused*
Sean: Josh, you don’t even tax.
Cyrus: Paul Sean civil war. May 1 2016. Sean and I vs Josh and Kyla.
Sean: Well, why would this start?
Josh: *Clearly excited about this* Oh let’s dance! It’s gonna get hot up in here! Dancing queen. Fire hair-girl.
Sean: I didn’t agree to this
Cyrus: You shall.
Sean: Kyla’s almost always on my side.
Josh: Which is why we should mix it up a lil.
Cyrus: There has to be a sane person on each side. So me and Kyla are always against each other.
Sean: Oh, because both you and Kyla are sane?
Sean: *Laughs for awhile*
Josh: *Suddenly is wearing Dancing Queen outfit* IM GONNA DANCE YALL TO FREAKIN DEATH!
Cyrus: Right. Justice always prevails.
Sean: Yo. Chill.
Cyrus: The Lord is on our side.
Dancing Queen: And I can make Kyla more powerful by singing burn baby burn. So, Sean is gecko man. Not really any good powers for combat, and David is.. David Does David have powers?
Cyrus: Drive. Determination. Extreme mathematical intelligence.
Sean: Josh, not true on my combat thing. And people don’t need powers. Batman beat Superman, kind of.
Cyrus: Yo! The heck?
Dancing Queen: That’s completely different. He’s batman. Enough said.
Cyrus: I haven’t read or seen it.
Dancing Queen: He’s referring to the comics, David. Calm your shirt.
Sean: I don’t know if the movie will follow the book. At all. It doesn’t look like it.
Cyrus: Still, please. Sssshhhhhhhhh. Imagine D yo. I can do a chin up.
Dancing Queen: David has a big metal cross that he beats liberals with. That’s his powers.
Cyrus: Haha wooden actually.
Sean: Anyway, I don’t see why there has to be this fight in the first place?
Cyrus: Embrace it. DUDE.
Dancing Queen: CUZ IN ‘MERICA WE NEED SOME FREAKIN POINTLESS ACTION.
Cyrus: My sister is watching Gilmore girls and the dude’s dog’s name is Cyrus.
Dancing Queen: And what David? Hm. He had your MIDDLE name
Sean: Um, I don’t have any motivation. I have no reason to be involved in this crap. I AM AN UNNECESSARY CHARACTER IN THIS CIVIL WAR THING!!
Cyrus: Josh do something evil to him.
Sean: Well, Josh is kind of a crazy vigilante who tortured me for days senselessly.
Dancing Queen: *starts dancing* I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL!!!!
Sean: I just don’t understand the Kyla thing? Why must I fight Kyla?
Dancing Queen: *random wrecking ball comes in and hits Sean*
Cyrus: Uh, wait. You know what I just realized?
Construction Worker: Sorry!
Dancing Queen: Hm?
Gecko Man: *with his gecko senses he is ready and attaches himself to wrecking ball*
Cyrus: Kyla wants to fight literally everyone and absolutely nobody wants to fight her.
Dancing Queen: Wait! Gecko senses?!
Gecko Man: *Suddenly is in Gecko Suit* UMM YEAH?
Dancing Queen: Geckos don’t have gecko senses!
Gecko Man: WHAT DO THEY HAVE THEN? SPIDER SENSES?? QUEERDO!!!
Dancing Queen: Spiders feel the movement in the air with their hair. Geckos are skin slappin naked though.
Gecko Man: Geckos are freakin agile and have ridiculously awesome vision.
Dancing Queen: Really all you can do is stick to walls and punch people. And lick your eye
Gecko Man: Not true.
Dancing Queen: You could hit me with your tail.
Cyrus: If I were to be a superhero, guess whose powers I’d want.
Gecko Man: *Ignoring Cyrus* Josh, do you come from a place where people tell people’s secret identities and make up crap?
Dancing Queen: I don’t Know. Do you make up random abilities that animals don’t even freaking have???
Gecko Man: CAN SPIDERS SHOOT WEBS OUT OF THEIR HANDS?
Cyrus: Spider-Man. Yes. No.
Dancing Queen: SPIDER-MAN MADE WEB SHOOTERS!
Cyrus: Kidding no.
Dancing Queen: ARTIFICIALLY!
Gecko Man: *Still ignoring Cyrus* CAN PEOPLE WITH FLAMING HAIR SHOOT LIGHTNING OUT OF THEIR FEET?!
Dancing Queen: UMM YEAH, RETARD!
Dancing Queen: *Cyrus might as well not be here at this point* AND THEY CANT ‘SHOOT’ LIGHTNING OUTTA THEIR FEET. THEY SKATE WITH IT!
Gecko Man: GECKO MANS CAN DO THINGS GECKOS CAN’T. I’M DONE TALKING TO YOU, YOU FAT USELESS PIECE OF MEAT, ONLY GOOD FOR MEAN JOKES!!
Dancing Queen: WHY ARE WE TALKING IN CAPS AND SCREAMING?!?! So yeah I made the backstory for how Kyla got her powers. Wait Weren’t we fighting?
Gecko Man: Josh, 1. It isn’t Kyla. Are you talking about Fire Hair Girl? 2. Create stuff for your own characters, stop trying to take over other peoples characters.
Dancing Queen:*starts dancing as the godfather theme song starts playing, a dozen men with Tommy guns start running at Sean. They all start shooting. Except one who keeps trying to kick Sean in the head for some reason.*
Dancing Queen: YOUR MINE NOW GECKO MAN!!!
*David throws his body in the way of all the fire. The bullets bounce off of his fantastic body.*
*Gecko Man jumps off wrecking ball and into the Gecko Copter, escaping.r*
David: *Dizzy after getting shot* Captain America is worthy. Oooooooooh got eem
Dancing Queen: *Caught up in his own awesomeness* To be honest, dancing queens powers are pretty awesome.
*A Strange being appears behind Josh*
Pig Rat: Who ya talking to?
Dancing Queen: Burn baby burn! *Nothing Happens to Pig Rat*
Dancing Queen: Ok, so who the heck are you?!
Pig Rat: I, well, I’m Pig Rat.
Dancing Queen: Are you half pig and half rat?
Pig Rat: Yeah. Basically.
Dancing Queen: Ok well bye
Pig Rat: Adios. *Remembers why she’s there* WAIT!
Dancing Queen: Whatchu want girl?
Pig rat: I have a message from Gecko Man.
Dancing Queen: And what’s that?
Pig Rat: He had this long monologue or whatever, but I’ll shorten it, because my house is a long way from here, and my ugly little Pig Rat spawn are desperate for the milk of their mother, so yeah. Gecko Man is hanging up his Gecko Suit for good. He feels like he’s been abusing his powers and he encourages you and Fire Hair Girl to give up your abilities as well. Cool, I gotta go nurse my disgusting rat pig babies.
Dancing Queen: HE WHAT?!?! That selfish scrawny little lizard! Okay, bye. *starts dancing* and without you is how I disappear!
*Dancing Queen disappears from thin air*
*Pig rat jumps out the window and suddenly starts gliding like a horrible flying squirrel*
*David, now seemingly alone in the room, realizes that Sean has walked in and has given a silent round of applause and looks of admiration for Pig Rat’s performance.*
Sean: So, David. Did you hear? Gecko Man is hanging up his mask for good. Thoughts?
David: Yeah, sad really. We need someone to pick up where he left off. Somebody with drive, determination, and who is extremely mathematically intelligent. *Looks dramatically off out into the night through the broken window. Clearly is fantasizing being a super hero. Police sirens wail. Music swells. Wind blows. End scene.*