Dude, We’re Getting The Band Back Together
*Josh and Kyla are doing facetime, back in Raleigh*
Josh: So, did you have a theory about why I passed out? You never told me back in California.
Kyla: No, I was just trying to get in on some of the drugs you were on.
Josh: Oh. Where are you?
Kyla: At your house. *Looks smugly at Josh over the phone.*
Josh: That doesn’t make sense. I live in your attic, Kyla.
Kyla: *Looks confused for a second* Oh, right.
Josh: I just live there. I don’t sleep there.
Josh: When I sleep, I go to your neighbor’s house, crawl into their hot tub and sleep in there. I have to wrap myself in chains to keep from floating up.
Kyla: *Looks unconvinced* How do you breathe?
Kyla: Oh, right. Forgot.
Josh: I store oxygen in my cheeks. Can last up to 24 hours. Unfortunately, I sleep for about 25 hours a day…
Kyla: Whoa cool. Can you teach me?
Josh: Yeah, sure.
Kyla: Wait. Are you asleep now?
Josh: Kyla. There’s a few things you can’t understand. I’m not saying that you aren’t able to understand, I’m saying that you shouldn’t understand. For training, we shall start in the ocean first, then work our way to the pool, then the hot tub. Chlorine makes it harder.
Kyla: Oh. Cool.
Josh: But yeah. I’m in your attic I think I’ll go to your neighbor’s in a few hours/
Kyla: Well. I’m at your house, so obviously there’s a problem.
Josh: Former house.
Josh: Wait. If you’re in my current house, then you’re in your attic.
Josh: Which means we done be at the same room!
Kyla: Nnnnnnaah. *Calls Sean* Sean, where you at?
Sean: Well, since I got back to the EC yesterday, I’ve been chilling out in the tower of the national cathedral.
Josh: Ooh, Iggy loves that place.
Sean: Oh, you still hanging out around that old reptile?
Josh: Yeah, he’s my therapist. When he gets really angry, his eyes stick out. One of the reasons he’s called The Chameleon.
Sean: I thought he was an Iguana? That’s a pretty confusing name.
Josh: Chameleon is a type of iguana. … I think. *Shrugs, then sends a picture from Craig’s List, showing a product on sale. It says “Extremely RARE. One of a kind, Iggy the Iguana w/tush Tag Error. $800”*
Sean: Whoa, hey. That’s false advertising and slavery.
Josh: This is obviously a chameleon. But says iguana, sooo…
Kyla: Wait. That’s not a-ok.
Josh: And yes they are selling that for $800.
Kyla: Only 800? Get it.
Josh: Maybe I should get it. *Does impression of George Lucas* Like my room, it like, it just.. It needs more lizards…I saw maybe two? There should at least be 8.
Sean: Are you endorsing this slavery? Josh. I expected better from you. Just make a lizard friend and chill with him.
Kyla: So crazy.
*Opening Credits come on in the style of a news show.*
*PSB News comes on, showing Sean spinning around in his chair.*
Sean: Hello, and welcome everyone to PSB News! I had a great interview with Easton king yesterday, a representative for Al Gore, and learned a lot about where he stands. For more info on this interview, check out our website. BREAKING NEWS: Our newest candidate in the race, running as a Republican, is Ignatius Noelemahc. *A picture of Iggy is shown in the back ground.* This should be an interesting election now with this businessman running for president…
*Josh and Kyla are hanging out at Kyla’s house, when Sean walks in.*
Sean: So, Ignatius is running for president?
Josh: Yeah. He says that he won’t stand for a mindless dog running for president. He also won’t stand for Mocha either.
Sean: Haha, well done.
Josh: He’s like a smart version of Donald Trump.
Sean: So, Hitler basically?
Josh: He’s pretty much a fascist.
Sean: I’ll have to interview either you or him soon. Just want to make clear, I’m just a moderator and am not in favor of any candidate over another. Hey, Kyla, do you want to run, or represent somebody?
Kyla: Hm. Dunno. Sounds like work.
Sean: You should. I want as many people as possible, so it can be intense.
Josh: You could get Little Fox to run?
Kyla: Little Fox has zero interest in running in your petty human election.
Josh: Hey. There’s only one human running in this election.
Sean: Al Gore is barely human. He’s like an astral spirit. At least that’s what I was told. Squat and Rita could run, attempting to bring back the Kingdom of Otis?
Kyla: Rita would probably be down, but Squat is more of a follower. And they’re a package deal.
Sean: *Getting annoyed* Kyla, I’d greatly appreciate it if you or someone you represent ran. It’s sort of my new thing, this whole fake election.
Kyla: I’ll think about it.
Kyla: *Rolls Eyes.*
Sean: Josh, help me out here.
Josh: *Shrugs* Less competition. Everyone go and follow Iggy on Instagram. #nationofnoelemach Ignatius will make this nation more powerful than anything on the earth. He’s already buying out half of Gore’s supporters.
Sean: Hmm. Well, candidates are still coming in. Who knows who’ll come next…
*At PSB News the next day, Sean explains something as a picture of Carl the Martian appears behind him.*
Sean: The candidates are just flooding in. I’ve just got word that Carl the Martian has just announced his entry into the race, this should be interesting as he is supposedly from Mars. Here to discuss the election with me is Ignatius Noelemahc, Al Gore, Mocha Kolbe, and Carl the Martian themselves! Hello everyone!
*All of the candidates seem to be on call and show up on separate screens. Al Gore looks stern and serious. Mocha looks unimpressed, but calm. Ignatius smiles evilly into the camera. Carl just looks confused. The candidates send their greetings back to Sean.*
Sean: It’s good to see you all, this will be great for ratings. So, first off, the other day when I had an interview with Mr. King, it seemed like Gore’s campaign was pretty well organized, and doing pretty well, so, to the newer candidates, how do you expect to take on Gore and Kolbe, who seem to have a pretty well planned campaign?
Ignatius: Ah, the representative of this ‘Gore’. Be careful who you’re friends with, Mr. Condon…
Carl: OOOH! Yummy hands! *Carl stares at Sean’s hands*
Sean: That didn’t really answer my question. *There’s an awkward silence* Umm, okay, so what is all of your thoughts on Carl the Martian entering the race?
Carl: Oooh, skinny male man ask about me!
Ignatius: Psshhh, foreigner…
Al Gore: Where is the birth certificate?
Carl the Martian: Umm, I was born in Illinois. I have proof…you are racist!
*Mocha just rolls her eyes.*
Sean: Well, we’re running out of time, is there anything you’d like to say before next time, Ignatius?
Ignatius: Let me make this Nation great! Vote for me!
Carl: Do you have hands??? *Carl starts looking hungrily at Ignatius.*
*Sean calls Josh after the news stops filming.*
Sean: Another person you support? So wait, who are you representing Josh? Iggy or Carl?
Josh: Iggy. Carl is running his own campaign.
Sean: Who’ll represent Carl in interviews?
Josh: If Carl isn’t drunk on hands then he’ll do it, I guess.
Sean: I’m doing an interview with Mocha’s representatives this Wednesday, so we’ll see.
*Another news cast with the candidates is seen. This time, Sean has only called Carl, Mocha, and Ignatius.*
Sean: So, Carl, you aren’t very well known, tell us about yourself and what you would do as president.
Carl: I am Carl. Elect me and I will eat the enemies’ hands.*He stares creepily into the camera.
Mocha: Violence is not the answer.
Carl: But hands are yummy…*Stares at Sean’s hands*
Ignatius: Wrong, Mocha. Violence is the most effective option in most situations.
Sean: Well, Carl, do you have anything else you wish to say?
Carl: DELICIOUS HANDS! *Shows a cardboard poster he made of a bunch of pictures of human hands. He’s slobbering with hunger. Everyone else just sits there awkwardly.*
Sean: Well, we’ll continue this talk next time, any closing remarks Carl?
Carl: Vote for me! *Looks happily at the camera.*
Mocha: Foreigners these days….
Carl: I WAS BORN IN ILLINOIS…I promise…
Mocha: I will not fall for your lame background story. Anyway, remember everyone, by mission is to have BISCUITS AND TREATS FOR EVERYONE!
Carl: Hands too, right?
*The three candidates hang up.*
Sean: Well, that was interesting…And on another note, Happy Pig Day! And happy birthday to Otis Whitehouse! May you return someday, you wonderful pig, you. *Tears up a little bit.*
*Back at Sean’s house.*
Josh: Carl is really getting out of hand. He should just drop out. He’s got like no voters.
Sean: Ah, clever, I got that.
Josh: Iggy will prove that he wasn’t born in America.
Sean: Yeah, and if not him, Gore has been working on that too.
Josh: Iggy doesn’t like breaking the law while running. So, he’s doing it the legal way, which he’s not used to.
Sean: I bet. He should be careful of his criminal past, that might be used against him.
Josh: Yeah. But then again, Hillary has gotten extremely far, so…
Sean: This is true.
Josh: Iggy was playing me some Johnny Cash yesterday-
Kyla: *Walks in carrying something, interrupts Josh* Guess who dis be. *Shows a painting of a man who’s clearly Sean that she had done*
Sean: Josh. Nate. David. Harry potter. Michael Jackson. Trevor Damik. Al Gore.
Kyla: Harry Potter is not actually a bad guess now that you mention it.
Sean: Malcolm Reynolds.
Josh: Me sharing a body with Sean!
Sean: Damian Brown. St Lewis Jr. René Stewart.
Josh: Sean and David morphed into one body? Conner Saoirse!
Kyla: Guys, no. It’s me. Obviously.
Kyla: You see it now?
Josh: Well, she’s a lesbian. It was only a matter of time before she became transgender.
Kyla: That so doesn’t make sense, but yeah. Wait, who said I was trans? That’s just me.
Josh: Yo mama.
Kyla: The long blond hair. The lack of glasses. Me. Obviously. Man. You two can’t appreciate art.
Sean: *Picking up on Kyla’s sarcasm* So, who was it actually?
Kyla: You. Duh.
Sean: Oh, cool. He’s cute.
Kyla: Is the drawing of pigs allowed on pig day?
Sean: Refer to the rules. *Gestures to the list of Pig Day rules written on the wall.*
Kyla: *Seeing that you are allowed to draw pigs on pig day* Oh, good.
Sean: Hail Otis.
Kyla: Hail Otis indeed. *Points at the little pig peering out of Sean’s chest pocket in the picture*
Sean: AHHHH, yessss!!! You’re so great.
Kyla: *Smiles, full of pride*
Josh: That’s a really tiny Otis.
Sean: It could be Juan. Rest in peace.
Kyla: Who knows?
Josh: So, yeah. Iggy is a master at every instrument.
Josh: Especially piano.
Kyla: How about the ones of mass destruction?
Josh: He doesn’t use those…yet. He has to be elected first. He’s just a mob boss… for now…
Sean: Well, while he’s running, you might want to keep the mob boss talk to a minimum.
Josh: Iggy is also half Mexican by the way. Pretty much the only reason he won’t start attacking Mexico.
Sean: What’s the other half?
Kyla: Chameleon, right?
Sean: Yeah, well he’s fully chameleon. Just one of his parents was a Mexican chameleon. Anyway, I dunno. I’m just assuming.
Josh: His American father was Russian and Italian.
Sean: So, which mafia does he run?
Josh: After killing the men who killed his family as a child, he joined the military, then became a psychiatrist, but alas, his past came back to haunt him, and he had to defeat people trying to avenge the men who he killed as a young man. Now he owns New Mexico. He deals with the cartel a lot.
Kyla: *Completely ignoring everything Josh just said* Hey, what color is Josh’s hair right now?
Kyla: Thanks. *Runs out of the room.*
Josh: *Calling out to Kyla* Why did you want to know?
Nate: *Sitting next to Josh.* Mm.
*Sean is interviewing Ignatius, Al Gore, and Carl again over call, during his news show. Sarah King and Norah Bell, two small blond women wearing glasses represent Mocha.*
Sean: So, Ignatius, I’d love to hear your opinion on the current election and your fellow candidates.
Ignatius: Well, before I answer that question, I’d like to start with a moment of silence in honor of Otis Whitehouse. A great, but somewhat foolish leader. You are missed, friend.
Sean: SOMEWHAT FOOLISH!?!?!? *Breaths in dramatically* Alright, whatever you say. Moment of silence…
Carl: *Breaking the moment of silence* Do pigs have hands?
Ignatius: Yes, anyway, let’s begin. *Gestures at Al Gore who is doing a weird angry face at him* That is the face of the devil. May he be killed and raped by all the Mexicans he’d allow into our country.
Sarah: I don’t know how I feel about this…Madam Mocha would not approve…
Carl: Can I eat his hands then?
Al Gore: *Calmly* I declared candidacy in August of 2015. When did you declare yours? And who really cares about being Commander in Chief? I do. You, apparently, do not.
Ignatius: I will not let this nation crumble by you being elected. When I win, this nation will be the most powerful on the globe.
Al Gore: America has never been nor will ever be the most powerful. Stop believing this rubbish propaganda.
Carl: Let’s just eat hands together!
Ignatius: *Moving on* And this so called ‘Carl’ is throwing his hat in the ring. He claims to be born in Illinois, but the truth WILL be uncovered. I will prove that this scoundrel was not born in the USA or even Earth for that matter.
*Carl surprisingly does not respond.*
Ignatius: Another one of my competitors is this Mocha. I have said repetitively in the past, I will not stand for a mindless dog to be president and I will not stand for Mocha either.
Carl: Do paws taste like hands?
Nora: Mocha would be a great president, what are you talking about??
Ignatius: It was a burn towards Al Gore. Middle Class…Psshhh…
Sean: *Grinning evilly, knowing that his insults will be great for ratings* Well, thank you Igna-
Ignatius: *Interrupting Sean* And another thing, this is the face of our moderator. *Points at Sean’s creepy smile.* He is obviously in no right mind set to be asking any rational questions, or to give interviews. I suggest looking for a new moderator immediately.
Sean: *No longer smiling* ‘Ey, watch yourself…
Al Gore: Says the one who wants me to be ‘raped by the Mexicans’. Your typical infantile rhetoric makes this statement void.
Ignatius: One insulting truth doesn’t make another truth false, my friend. After all, this man has a history of mental illness and psychopathic behavior.
Sean: *Looks unpleased* Good day to you all. *Hangs up on all of them.*
Kyla: *Shows up at Sean’s with another painting, this one is of Josh with his earbuds in* Yo, guess who dis be.
Sean: Uncle Josh. Or Voldemort. That’s my second guess/
Kyla: *Sarcastically* Voldemort, you got it. He came out a lot grumpier than I meant him to.
Josh: Excuse me. Where are my raccoon eyes?
Kyla: Oh, right. *Draws dark circles under the painting of Josh’s eyes* Okay?
Josh: *Looks a little confused for a second, then figures something out in his head* Okay. UNCLE JOSH! With the eyes of a raccoon and the scream of turkey, nothing stands in his way! Ok, bye. *Strokes Kyla’s face, then leaves.*
*Mocha is shown doing her blog thing in her home.*
Mocha: *A little more angry than usual* Hello everyone. This is what I think about Al Gore, Ignatius Noelemahc, and Carl The Martian. *Sticks out her tongue.* I am disgusted. *Breathes in angrily, but calms herself down. She smiles and begins eating out of her food bowl. Lunch time is my absolute favorite time. This is so scrumptious.
Nora: *From behind the camera.* YOU ENJOY YOUR FOOD MOCHA!!
Mocha: Much obliged, my dear. *Frowns* But yes. Iggy, Al, Carl. This frown is for you. * She glares intensely. She takes a deep breath again.* I am sorry for my negativity. I just can’t stand these foul mouthed meanies. The eyes of my faithful companions reassure me every day that our world will be great again, once I’m elected, of course. I would also like to thank everyone who came to my speech at the capital. I will make it great.
Ashland: *From behind the camera* Beautiful presentation today. I had tears in my eyes.
Sarah: *Also from behind the camera* As did I. Thank you for your never ending hard work!
Mocha: No, thank you. I appreciate all you do. Now, before we go, I want to read some letters we have received recently. This first one is from Nora Bell! Aww, lets see what my dear friend Nora sent me. “GO MOCHA!!!!” Well, thank you. I appreciate your support. The next one is from Jon Cooke. It says “You are the only real choice.” Once again, thank you to all my followers. The next one is from *Frowns* Carl the Martian. Ugh. It says “Hmmm…do paws taste like hands? We should eat hands together sometime.” Then he drew a bunch of pictures of hands and aliens. Ugh, disgusting. And finally, I have a letter from Ignatius Noelemahc. It says that he agrees that Gore and Carl are fools, and that he knew a woman named Sydney once. “Days of youth feel like a thousand years ago in recent times.” Weird… Anyway, thank you all for your time. Remember, the future could be bright my friends!
*Kyla calls Sean into the living room and points at the TV, where an animated kids show is playing. On the screen is a super hero kid in a green outfit.*
Kyla: I turned on the TV and this kid’s show was on. This guy has the powers of a gecko. *Whispers* Gecko-man.
Josh: Behold. That is freaking Gecko Man.
Sean: AGH! PLAGIARISM! THIEVERY! I mean, uh, Gecko Man wouldn’t appreciate that.
Josh: Sean. You hung up the scales. Someone was eventually going to take the name.
Sean: SHUT UP! I mean, I’m not Gecko Man, you silly goose.*Pretends to take a phone call, very obviously not talking to anyone* Gecko man just called me, and told me he was going to go hunt down the shameless rip offs of him. He wonders if Fire Hair Girl and Dancing Queen would like to join him. If you all could find out if they’re available sometime soon, Gecko man would appreciate it.
Kyla: Not that I personally know Fire Hair Girl, but I assume she would wonder what that would entail.
Sean: Gecko Man would probably respond by saying that you would have to go on some ridiculous quest full of random enemies, celebrity cameos, and complete pointlessness, similar to the one we had with PAYLO, but this time, with super heroes. He would also say that it would spice things up, as the world has gotten boring since Josh spoke with PAYLO. Not that I would know.
Kyla: I imagine Fire Hair Girl would be down with that.
Josh: What about Lord Grummond?
Sean: We would keep an eye out for Lord Grummond, but Gecko Man probably would too, even while fighting this injustice. He can’t just sit around, waiting for lord Grummond to make a move. After all, I have lots of people keeping an eye out for him. So, Josh, do you think Dancing Queen would forgive Gecko Man and join him in the battle against plagiarism?
Josh: Yeah, sure. *Josh runs out of the room.*
Sean: I’m just going to go to the bathroom. *Leaves as well. Gecko Man enters the room.*
Josh: *Now dancing around in the room, is dancing queen. A disco ball glimmers above his head.*
Gecko Man: DANCING QUEEN?!? HOW FREAKISHLY CONVENIENT! I HAVEN’T DONNED THE SCALES IN MONTHS AND HERE YOU ARE, RIGHT AFTER I GOT MY SUIT ON, weird….
Dancing Queen: *Keeps dancing and spinning records.*
Gecko Man: Oh, I see how it is. You’re still angry at me. Listen, we were becoming too powerful. We weren’t heroes anymore, we were blinded by our own abilities. I’m sorry. I had to do it.
Dancing Queen: *Continues to dance and spin records.*
Gecko Man: So, we cool, right?
Cyrus: *Walks in randomly* Sup my chigglets?
Gecko Man: Oh, Dyris. *realizes mistake* David! You’re here.
Cyrus: It’s Cyrus but… Yeah. What?
Gecko Man: What?
Cyrus: Chu need me? For anyting?
Gecko Man: Umm, if you could find Kyla, I’d appreciate it, or Fire Hair Girl. Either one will do.
Cyrus: Kay breh! *Leaves house and searches.*
Gecko Man: Yells out window* YOU SEE ANYTHING??? *Sits around on couch listening to Dancing Queen’s jams* Where is she??
Fire-Hair Girl: *Zooms in using the rocket jets on her boots* Cyrus said you wanted me?
Gecko Man: Yo! You came! DQ, TURN DOWN THE TOONS FOR A BIT. WE GOTTA TALK!
Fire-Hair Girl: Yeah. What’s the problem? I thought we were going solo for a while?
Dancing Queen: *Doubles the volume.*
Fire-Hair Girl: Look at that. THAT BEHAVIOR IS EXACTLY WHY WE SPLIT.
Gecko man: * Over the loud music* SO YOU KNOW DISNEY CHANNEL!?!?
Fire-Hair Girl: YEAH.
Gecko Man: WELL, IT SEEMS THEY TOOK THE WHOLE GECKO SUPER HERO THING AND NOW HAVE THIS CHARACTER NAMED GEKKO ON THEIR DISNEY JR SHOW: PJ MASKS. AND GET THIS. HE HAS GECKO POWERS. SOUND FAMILIAR?
Fire-Hair Girl: WAIT, ARE W- DANCING QUEEN, WOULD YOU MIND?
Dancing Queen: *Mutes music for a second and stops dancing* Oh hey, girl. * pets Fire Hair Girls face then turns the music back on, louder than ever.*
Fire-Hair Girl: *Torches music-playing-stand thing.*
Dancing Queen: *Keeps dancing anyways.*
Gecko Man: See. This is the problem.
Fire-Hair Girl: Are we talking plagiarism?
Gecko man: Yes.
Fire-Hair Girl: *Sigh* Is this a worthy cause for a reunion tour?
Gecko Man: Umm, yes? Why wouldn’t it be?
Fire-Hair Girl: Fine. I’m in. We gotta put an end to this.
Gecko Man: Also, is anyone else getting the creeping suspicion that he isn’t Dancing Queen. He’s being awfully suspicious…
Fire-Hair Girl: By ‘anyone else’ do you mean me, because yeah, he’s acting pretty sketchy.
Gecko Man: He’s barely spoken a word since he showed up. Last time we were together, he wouldn’t shut up.
Fire-Hair Girl: I’d like to say he’s learned his lesson, but I’m not an optimistic person.
Dancing Queen: *Again pets Fire Hair Girl’s face and then Gecko-Man’s* EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE A CAT!!! *They both suddenly turn into cats* Hm. Well, this is awkward. You’re like all cat like, and I’m all humanish. Hm.
*Gecko Man and Fire-Hair Girl quickly return to their usual form, as the music has stopped.*
Dancing Queen: Well, anyways. Yeah, let’s go kill some bad guys.
Gecko Man: Dancing Queen, How many times do we have to go over this? We have a pledge not to kill anyone. That’s that weird vigilante’s job. Also, this is a simple matter of plagiarism, I don’t see why we’d kill anyone.
Dancing Queen: *Throws them into the dance mobile, then just randomly turns around and points to the symbol on his back, which is a pink shield that says ‘Dancing Queen’ on it.*
Fire-Hair Girl: Let’s go stop a kids show.
Gecko Man: Oh. In that case…do you even know where we’re going DQ?
Dancing Queen: I can show you the world! *Suddenly a soccer ball sized Earth floats in front of them.* So, where on Earth are they?
Gecko-man: That’s the thing. I don’t know.
Dancing Queen: You never know. They could be in quosepia or somewhere.
Fire-Hair Girl: How do we want to hit this though? Like, sneaky or a more direct approach?
Gecko Man: I DON’T KNOW! I DIDN’T REALLY PLAN THIS FAR! LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU’RE STRESSING ME OUT! *Turns on the radio in the car to calm himself down.*
Radio News Host: WASHINGTON—Still overcome with shock and terror as they described the horrifying scene that had unfolded before them, numerous eyewitnesses confirmed Thursday that, after being accidentally exposed to an experimental job-growth chemical, Barack Obama has grotesquely mutated into a 20-foot-tall monster president.
According to federal officials, the grisly metamorphosis took place during a tour of the Labor Department’s underground research and development lab, where a sudden pressure overload caused a vat to rupture, soaking Obama in a highly unstable serum designed to expand the nation’s workforce. Sources said the president then underwent rapid, out-of-control growth, leaving him several times larger and uncontrollably aggressive.
Fire-Hair Girl: We gotta take this, guys.
Gecko Man: But plagiarism???
Fire-Hair Girl: We’ll take care of that. But right now, these people need our help.
Gecko Man: Ugh, fine! DQ, Get us to DC.
*A couple hours later, in D.C., twenty foot tall Barack Obama, complete with ripped up clothes, and rippling muscles, is rampaging down the reflection pool in front of the Lincoln memorial, throwing cars and people left and right.*
Gecko Man: Oh Gosh, he’s destroying everything!
Fire-Hair Girl: How do we want to approach this? Attempt to save the president or just take him down? I mean. He’s almost out of office anyway.
Gecko-Man: Well, yeah, but he’s a human too, I feel like there has got to be an antidote. I wonder who- OH, CRAP HE’S COMING THIS WAY!
Fire-Hair Girl: WHERE’S DQ?!
Dancing Queen: *Obama’s about to crush the car that he’s holding.* LET IT GO!!! LET IT GOOOO!!! *Let it go begins to blast from the car radio. *Dancing Queen’s Dance Mobile also has the magic boom box.*
Dancing Queen: *Begins to dance, sending energy flying everywhere* Obama! Come here, ya big idiot!!!
Obama: *In Monstrous voice* YOU MADE ME LET THAT GO, LIKE THOUSANDS OF AMERICAN WORKERS IN THE RECENT ECONOMIC DOWNTURN!
Gecko Man: Wow, that serum stopped you from saying ‘um’ all the time. Cool.
Dancing Queen: *Dancing queen snaps fingers, and suddenly the star spangled banner starts playing* DOES THAT HURT?!?!
Obama: *Screams in anger* AGH, THE MURDERER OF THE WORKING CLASS! UNEMPLOYMENT IN DOUBLE DIGITS DRIPS FROM THIS PATRIOTIC CRAP!!!
*Gecko Man leaps forward and grabs onto Obama’s leg, sticking there.*
Gecko Man: Guys! Do something, I’m stuck!
Dancing Queen: Oh, come on!
Gecko Man: MY COSTUME HASN’T BEEN USED IN AWHILE!!
Dancing Queen: Let it go!! Let it gooooo!!
*Obama drops another car.*
Gecko Man: DIFFERENT SONG!
Dancing Queen: Under the sea!!!! Under the sea!!!
*Suddenly an enormous amount of water comes out of nowhere, falling on Obama. Water floods everywhere, nearly killing everyone.
Gecko Man: *From Underwater* DIFFERENT SONG!!!
Dancing Queen: HOW ARE YOU STILL STICKY
Gecko Man: I DON’T EVEN KNOW! SOMEONE MUST’VE TAMPERED WITH MY SUIT!
Dancing Queen: Just keep swimming!! Just keep swimming swimming swimming!!! *Suddenly a huge amount of fish come and start swimming against Sean.*
Gecko Man: THAT’S NOT EVEN A RECORDED SONG!
Dancing Queen: IT’S STILL A SONG!
Gecko Man: YOU CAN’T PLAY THE SONG IF IT DOESN’T ACTUALLY PLAY OUT OF THE BOOMBOX?!?!?
Dancing Queen: I’M DANCING QUEEN!! IT JUST STARTS PLAYING! LIKE MY THEME SONG IN ‘THE MOVIE’. BOOMBOX IS FOR STYLE.
Gecko Man: STOP REVEALING OUR SECRET IDENTITIES! ALSO, THAT MAKES YOU WAY TOO POWERFUL! WE NEED TO DEAL WITH THAT LATER!
Dancing Queen: EXACTLY! I’M THE GOD OF MUSIC! YOU MADE ME! AND HOW CAN WE EVEN HEAR EACH OTHER!?
Gecko Man: I DIDN’T MAKE THESE RIDICULOUS ADD ONS TO YOUR POWERS!!
Dancing Queen: MY POWERS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS. RADIOACTIVE DISCO BALL FELL ON MY HEAD!!!
Gecko Man: Yeah, that doesn’t make you god!
Dancing Queen: I said God of music.
Gecko Man: Whatever, GET ME OFF OF THIS THING! HE SMELLS OF ONCOMING UNEMPLOYMENT!!!
Dancing Queen: Burn baby, burn!!!!
Gecko Man: NO, I’M STILL ON HIM!
Dancing Queen: Burn baby, burn!!!
*Obama and Gecko Man burst into flames.*
Dancing Queen: Fire hair-girl!! Help me burn him!!!
Obama and Gecko Man: AGHHGHGHGHGHAGAHGH!!!
Dancing Queen: Under the sea!! Under the sea!!!
*Water floods in yet again.*
Gecko Man: *Sputtering* FOR THE LOVE OF GARY, STOP!
Dancing Queen: *Swims over to Gecko Man and grabs him.* AND WITHOUT YOU, IS HOW I DISAPPEAR!!! Dancing Queen vanishes in a puff of smoke, but Gecko-man stays. Dancing Queen teleports back.* WHAT THE HECK!?!
*Gecko man finally unsticks himself and faces Obama.*
Obama: YOU’RE THE REASONS AMERICANS ARE OUT OF WORK!
Dancing Queen: You’re just saying that because he’s a straight, white, Christian, conservative!!
Gecko Man: To be fair, I’m not quite conservative, but yeah, that basic idea!
Obama: AGH! WHAT IS um THIS!?!? *Obama starts shrinking and moaning in agony. The serum has worn off.*
*Al Gore is seen doing his blog thing back stage somewhere.*
Al Gore: I’m currently holding town hall meetings in Guam. Guamians for Gore!
Mocha: *Calling along with Ignatius over facetime.* I wouldn’t give away your meeting place Mr. Gore…. This just shows dogs are smarter.
Al Gore: Mocha, how many town meetings have you held. *she doesn’t respond*
Ignatius: OOOH. B-B-B-Burn! *Ignatius and Mocha hang up.*
Al Gore: Anyway, my ‘Island Hopping Campaign* is working so far. Guam is almost down, then I have four to go. Northern Mariana, American Samoa, Wake Island, and Hawaii. Hope to see you all at the ballots! Gore out!
*A couple days later, a now normal sized Obama is being cared for in the white house infirmary, groaning about job losses. The three heroes realize that they must focus on the plagiarism at hand.*
Dancing Queen: Alright well. I’m gonna go hunt down the fake gecko man alone. Bye!
Fire-Hair Girl: Yeah, we don’t work together as well as we used to. See ya.
*Gecko Man stands on a roof top overlooking the city, looking like a wannabe Batman.*
Gecko-Man: Then we’ll have to work alone.